Airlines are reducing fares

Airline fares are falling. Not because of passengers’ preference for trains and ships instead of planes nowadays or falling oil prices. Not even because the airlines are replacing the heavy cabin doors recently installed to deter terrorists with a lighter one. They have dismissed all pilots and therefore each plane will be less in weight by hundreds of pounds and airlines finance buoy up by millions of pounds in cash saved from pilot salaries that need not be paid anymore. Appointing an extra pilot to ensure presence of at least two pilots in cabin all the time for better flight safety was rejected as expensive and impractical by the world airline companies. In the just concluded win-win solution the planes will henceforth fly automatically with a google driver software, that will not only protect the planes from 0.33% suicidal pilots by banishing all pilots but also pre-empt hijack by terrorists as they won’t find a pilot to hijack.

Ref Number: 9906-05-13 Photographer: Ian Britton

It was a unanimous decision by the world airlines after several alarming cases of pilots committing suicide, mass murder of passengers and destruction of planes in the past.

A Singaporean captain plunged his plane with 97 passengers into a river in Indonesia in 1997. An Egyptian captain took his plane on a fatal dive into Atlantic Ocean after leaving New York killing 217 passengers on board in 1999. A Malaysian pilot directed his plane towards the south pole till it ran out of fuel and crashed into Indian Ocean killing 239 on board in 2014. A German pilot crashed a plane with 149 on board into Alps mountains killing everyone, a few days ago.

The airlines are passing on the benefit of savings in operational cost to passengers by reducing the airfares. It’s a great day in aviation history, claim sources in airlines, comparable only to the recent invention of solar planes that are totally safe for passengers because they cannot carry any passenger.

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